Recent reflections

 

Given recent events, I suppose I could take some time and comment on them and maybe even provide some witty commentary.  But I’m just too selfish, or self-centered at this point, so I’m going to write about my continuing recovery from my heart attack.  I’m still recovering physically, so where I am at now isn’t ‘normal’ for me yet (at least I hope).  There have been some recurring themes and ideas these past few weeks (it’s been almost four weeks), so here we go.

In order to better take care of myself and improving overall nutrition, I had to adjust what I eat.  Cholesterol, fats, and sodium must be taken into account and scrupulously watched.  When you have to do this, or if you just want to do this (it’s not a bad idea you know), one tool that is very useful is the nutrition labels on foods you buy.  At the same time, this tool is becoming somewhat of a thorn in my side.  A bane of my existence if you will.  There have been a number of times when I’ve had to stop myself and adjust what I would eat because of what the nutrition label said the food contained.  Either the sodium was too high, or something else was out of whack.  Now of course some of the biggest culprits are those items euphemistically labeled as ‘convenience foods’.  I tell you what, it’s certainly not a convenience to me to get my entire daily allowance of sodium and fat in a single sitting (I may be exaggerating, but only by half at best).

As I am still recovering, I am still having to remind myself that I am not yet whole.  My activities are still somewhat limited.  There have been a few occasions where I have had to stop what I was doing and sit down because I could tell the exertion was ‘too much’.  There is an element of frustration, as I feel like my body has ‘betrayed me’.  There are things I was able to do not that long ago, but I can’t at the moment because a ‘twinge’ or dizzy spell will come on and I need to stop.  I certainly hope this will go away soon, and it’s difficult to have to wait for that time to arrive.

As a final note, I have been personally overwhelmed to see and hear the amount of prayers, well wishes, and expressions of concern these past few weeks by friends and family.  There are times when you wonder whether your presence is noticed or has an effect on others.  This showed me I do have an effect and presence.

A difficult post

 

Admittedly, this is a difficult post for me to write.  Having just experienced it, I felt it necessary to put this down as a reminder and perhaps a cautionary tale.

The drama started officially on Sunday.  I say officially because when I look back, the warning signs of something about to happen were there.  I got the last ‘warning’ the day before, and if I had been paying attention I would have done something then.  But I could excuse them all away.  I was getting older, I was out of shape, and so forth.  The last one I really couldn’t excuse away, but I told myself I would be okay, and besides I didn’t have time to stop and deal with health issues.  Forces outside myself decided I didn’t get a vote in the matter.

Anyway, I woke up a 4 am to my chest hurting.  As I said before, this wasn’t the first time it had done this.  I could tell immediately the pain was different from previous times.  I was up and down for almost three hours, trying to get it to go away.  It wouldn’t.  Not when changing position, not when taking an antacid, not by drinking water.  I tried to deny what my fears were telling me, I was having a heart attack or some other cardiac issue.  I then tried to get ready for the day (going to church) and trying to say to myself ‘if it doesn’t stop by this point, then I’ll go in to get checked out’.  Finally, by 8:30 I couldn’t tolerate the discomfort or deny there was something significant going on.  I told my wife about the pain.  At that point I started having cold sweats and when she touched my hands they were cold and clammy.  The only question in her mind was ‘ambulance or drive ourselves in’.  We dropped our children off at church so they could be with friends afterwards and drove to the emergency room.  I could have called for an ambulance, but I was still fighting some denial about what was truly going on.

Once we arrived at the ER, the drama was sidelined for a moment by a small comedy of errors.  My given first name can be used for either gender, but for whatever reason, registration marked me down as ‘female’.  After a few questions and reassurances that I was what I said I was, we got the registration straightened out and settled in.  Then the tests and questions began.  As they went through my symptoms, the doctors and nurses couldn’t say for sure what was going on.  Cardiac issue?  Possibly.  There were other items to consider as well.  We do the first EKG.  Comes back ‘normal’.  OK, let’s do blood tests to confirm, but it’s probably not as bad as we were thinking.  So, in case it was stomach acid related, they gave me a strong antacid.  The antacid did nothing for the pain, so the fears were starting to return.  We started talking about whether this was angina and how I would go home that day and follow up with a cardiologist. 

Then, the blood tests came back.  Elevated enzymes showed I was having a heart attack.  They immediately started me on heparin (a blood thinner) and gave me a large dose of nitroglycerin under the tongue.  Almost as soon as it dissolved, my pain went away and I was relieved (at least the pain had stopped).  But, I had to make life interesting.  My blood pressure fell and I was starting to pass out.  In comes the crash cart, and out go the visitors (a priest from my church was there by this time).  Fortunately the cart was not needed, and my blood pressure returned to a somewhat normal number.  Then they did EKG number two with some of the leads on the back.  Still normal. 

At this point, they moved me to the Cardiac ICU and wait there for the catheterization team to arrive.  The doctors decided a heart catheterization was needed to determine the cause.  I couldn’t tell you if it was a short or long session, since I’ve never been on this side of it before.  I’ve been on the outside, waiting for the results to come through.  I was also trying to focus on that moment, being on the table and trying to regain some sense of ‘normal’. 

The results?  Two of my coronary arteries are narrowed about 40%.  The official diagnosis is ‘coronary artery disease’.  The narrowing is not so significant as to require surgical intervention like a stent or bypass.  At this point, we are going to try and deal with the situation through medication and see if that will ‘right the ship’.  The good news in all of this?  The current theory is I had a clot that partially blocked the coronary artery, the official term is ‘Non-ST segment Elevated Myocardial Infarction’ (NSTEMI).  That, and the fact I came in fairly early on in the process meant the damage to my heart was minimal.

So, after a two-day hospital stay (needed primarily to ensure I wasn’t having issues with my new medications), I am now home to deal with this new time in my life.  I have kidded with my wife for years that I was ‘indestructible’ and to a certain degree I think I believed it.  Now I have had this happen and I know my life can end at any time.  But with the right combination of diet, exercise, and medication, I can push that time off for quite a while.

What moves us

 

     Sometimes I wonder about our society.  Whether you get your news from the internet, TV, radio, or newspaper (yeah, they still exist), if you take even a cursory look at the headlines the majority of them are speculative or controversial (and some may even be both).  If you can get past the headlines (and that can be difficult) the body of the story is no better.  Speculation and controversial statements abound, but facts are in short supply.  The truly sad part about it is, you can’t point at just one news company or outlet.  Every single one engages in this activity.  Personally, I’m expecting to see and hear stories about aliens next. 

     I remember when I was growing up, my father and I would chuckle while going through the grocery store checkout lines and seeing ‘the National Enquirer’ or ‘Weekly World News’ with their breathless headlines about some movie star’s ‘secret love child’ or ‘aliens meeting with the President’ (those tended to be my favorite if for no other reason than it was so out there and unbelievable).  If you remember not too long ago, the Enquirer actually broke a news story about a politician’s affair and love child (it probably helped the subject of the story was in their wheelhouse).  Can Weekly World News be far behind?

     We have the ability to choose in this country where we get our information.  We can also choose what information is important to us.  Want to know the latest sports scores or news?  Then you can go watch any (or all) of the ESPN channels or any of the other myriad of sports networks out there (to show my age, I remember when the first ESPN channel came out, and they weren’t sure it would catch on because the concept of a channel showing ‘only sports’ was unheard of).  Maybe you want to know the latest gossip about actors or other celebrities?  You’re definitely in luck there.  Between blogs and entertainment sites your head can be full of that kind of stuff in seconds.  But what about straight-up news?  The Joe Friday ‘just the facts’ type of thing?  They do exist, but you have to be ‘vewwy, vewwy careful’, to paraphrase Elmer Fudd.  The latin phrase ‘caveat emptor’ (let the buyer beware) is an understatement at best.  Biases, agendas, and who knows what else can lurk just below the surface of any site proclaiming to provide you ‘the news’.    And those not careful end up hearing the agenda rather than the information.

     I know the media companies are a business.  And businesses exist to profit their owners and shareholders.  Any benefit we as the consumer get is secondary at best (I know, I know, I’m being overly generous).  When you look at how much of each different information category is out there, it’s sad.  Apparently we find it infinitely more important to know the latest rumors about entertainers and politicians than to know the facts about issues and be able to be informed.  You can scream all you want about how the government, secret cabals, etc., are using media and information to ‘dumb us down’ and ‘make us their slaves’, but I ask you to think about it.  The sites and information is out there because WE as a society asked for it.  WE asked to hear/see about these things.  Maybe WE need to figure out why we say these things are so important.  Then maybe WE can change what is presented to us and how.

Returning to the earth

 

Today the weather was wonderful.  Mid-60s and sunny.  Not a lot of wind.  I decided to finally begin a task my wife and I have been talking about for a number of years.  I pulled out my electric tiller, and proceeded to ‘break ground’ and prepare it for a small garden.  When I started the tiller and began the process of breaking through the grass and moss, I was no longer a 41 year old but a 16 year old tilling the family garden. 

Growing up, my family was part of a co-op of sorts.  There were 3-4 families who all worked together on the garden.  Over the years, the other families stopped but my family continued on.  The warm weather was a signal to us to go out to where the garden was (it was on the property of one of the other co-op families.  They continued to let us garden there after they stopped actively working the garden in return for a small amount of produce) and begin preparing the ground for another season.  We would till and rake the ground.  We would then come out later and begin the planting.  We would grow green beans, peas, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, squash, zucchinis, carrots, and beets.  After planting (in northern Minnesota that would be Memorial Day weekend), we would go out every two to three days to check progress, weed, and when the time was right to harvest.  The season would end with another tilling, to prepare for the next year.

This process was much more exhausting, even though the area worked was significantly smaller.  Part of this of course is due to age.  Part of this was no doubt due to the fact that the electric tiller is smaller and less effective than the gas tiller I used growing up.  The other part if it was I had never done an actual breaking of ground like that before.  The years gardening growing up I was always working on land already broken.  This spot (you can see tires in the front – it was a garden at some point) has been overgrown with grass since we moved in twelve years ago (has it been that long already?).

I have hopes for this area.  The soil is darker and appears to be richer than what I grew up with, and it’s early in the growing season.  I know since this is the first year it’s tilled for growing it’s going to be difficult.  We’ll see how it goes.

One of these verses is not like others

 

     One thing I mentioned in my last post was that I thought about doing a blog post dealing more in the theological realm.  The reason is Theology and Religion are two things I find very interesting.  For me, it’s not just the idea of looking at/reading/hearing what someone believes, but also the foundation for that belief.  For example, if you believe in a literal 6 day creation, what you use to prove that can be more important than the belief itself.  For those whose basis of life and everything else is only the Bible, it may be comforting to point to something solid as your basis.  The comfort level can go down considerably when you begin to consider the many versions/translations/variations of the Bible currently in print (and online).

     Certain denominations may choose one version over the other (There are ‘King James only’ groups as an example).  If you dare go poking around the different corners of the internet (they’re not dark or bad corners, they just may not be very heavily traveled), there are websites whose sole purpose is upholding or putting down different versions/translations of the Bible.  Apparently, the ‘bad’ version(s) don’t support one or more of their particular theological positions.  How do you view the Bible?  Is it the sole source of your theology?  Or is it a single supporting part of a greater system?

     Why are there so many different versions of the Bible (especially in English)?  One of the simplest explanations is that each version uses a different Greek and/or Hebrew text as the basis of their translation.  Another reason is translating a Greek or Hebrew word differently into English.  Sometimes the difference is a small as an article (‘a’ or ‘an’ instead of ‘the’), or it may be a different word (‘maiden’ instead of ‘virgin’).  Each difference can cause significant theological upheavals, because as we are often told, ‘words matter’.

     Anyway, as an Orthodox Christian, the version of the Old Testament we use is called the Septuagint.  For those who do not know, the Septuagint is a translation of the Old Testament from Hebrew into Greek.  The oldest version found is from the late second century BCE (BC).  This is the text used during Christ’s time.  Most Bibles today use the Masoretic Text for the Old Testament.  This is a Hebrew text of which the oldest is from the sixth century CE (AD).  You can find a number of websites discussing (in great detail) the differences between the Septuagint and the Masoretic text.  There are many who do not use or trust the Septuagint because it is ‘a translation of a translation’.  I’m not a textual critic, so I’m not going to try and defend or attack one school of thought or another. 

     I have found in reading through the Septuagint Old Testament that the differences from the Masoretic text bring entirely new meanings to passages.  There are also times when the Septuagint Old Testament doesn’t match the Masoretic Old Testament.  Sometimes, the Septuagint version has additional text in the verse.  Other times, the verse is completely different.  One interesting difference I found recently has to do with a well known verse in Proverbs.  The verse in question was Proverbs 22:6.  The Masoretic text version has ‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.' (King James Version).  The Septuagint version (from the Orthodox Study Bible) has the following for Proverbs 22:6 ‘The rich will rule over the poor.  And servants will lend to their own masters.’  I tried to look through the rest of Proverbs, to see if the verse was in a different place, or perhaps the versions were numbered differently.  I could not find it.

     Why is there the difference between the texts?  Why was the version regarding child training added (or removed depending on your perspective)?  I really don’t have an answer for that.  And I don’t really need to have an answer, as the Bible for me is a single part of a greater theological whole.  These things may pique my interest, and cause me to consider the deeper meanings of the passage, but they do not ‘shake’ my faith, or cause me to doubt what I believe.

Not Just Reading, but Understanding is Fundamental

 

Oh my. What an interesting time we seem to be living in. There appear to be a recent proliferation of concerns about a number of different issues (gun violence/control and economy/taxation are a couple of examples). One thing I have noticed while perusing the many different opinions is the use of the word ‘fundamental’. Whether it’s a fundamental right, or a fundamental liberty, it’s used as part of an argument to bolster an individual’s assertion or position. Maybe it’s just me, but simply describing something as fundamental doesn’t immediately or automatically make it so.  I guess people presume you’ve done the research because they don’t back up this assertion with any evidence.  I may not be from Missouri, but I do tend to follow the state’s motto ‘show me’.

A very recent example of this use of fundamental is the to a certain degree implied argument that people around the world have a fundamental right to homeschool (my children are homeschooled, and I greatly value the opportunity given – full disclosure). I’ve looked at the situation which brought this out. To (greatly) summarize the situation:  a German family began homeschooling their children in 2006, in violation of German law. After being fined (and nothing I found says they paid the fines), and having German authorities come to their house and take their children to public school, they were asked by Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) to move to the United States in 2008.  Once they arrived they applied for asylum (they had other countries in Europe they could have chosen). The basis of their asylum application was they were being persecuted for homeschooling in accordance with their religious beliefs. The asylum case is now in front of a federal circuit court. An immigration judge in January 2010 granted them asylum, an immigration appeals court judge denied it in May of 2012.  The case is currently in front of the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals with oral arguments in April 2013. The United States government is arguing against granting asylum. The government’s argument is: the family isn’t being persecuted or singled out for their religious beliefs by the law, as Germany does not allow anyone to homeschool their children. HSLDA is providing legal representation for the family and puts forward the following counterargument: the family is being persecuted because homeschooling is a matter of individual liberty and is therefore a ‘fundamental right’. Now, I’m no lawyer (and I don’t play one on TV), but the issue here is the application of the asylum law. In short, people are granted asylum if they can demonstrate they are being persecuted for religious reasons or because they belong to a particular social group.

Now, please keep in mind I am a homeschooling father so I am approaching this from a pro-homeschooling perspective. Here is how I see homeschooling involved in this situation: Both the United States and Germany (as well as a number of other countries) have addressed the issue of homeschooing in their laws. The United States allows it, with each individual state applying its own requirements. Germany (I know the German homeschooling law was made in 1938, so please don’t use the Hitler argument. Please?) forbids it. I know the law in my state, and I follow it. Maybe I disagree with it, but I still follow it. I have difficulty believing one of the rights upon which all other rights are built (which is one of the definitions of fundamental) is to homeschool. There may be (I can’t think of any off the top of my head) countries where there is no educational system whatsoever (there are most certainly communities where this is the case).  Are we to provide those communities with homeschooling curriculum, because it’s a fundamental right? That might be akin to that community being Eve, and we are the serpent providing them with the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It’s an application of our culture and beliefs without consideration of their culture.

Another argument is that homeschooling is essential to freedom of thought. This argument assumes the parents cannot tell their children what the school is teaching them goes against their religious beliefs. I cannot count the number of times my wife or I have commented to our children (either during an event or after) we did not believe something presented because of our religion. We also explained to our children WHY we didn’t believe that idea or concept. Yes, it’s work. It can be difficult. But sooner or later, our children leave us and they will encounter these things through their interactions in society. When we take the time to explain why we disagree with something, we are teaching our children freedom of thought. We are also teaching them logic and apologetics.

Since religion has been introduced as an issue, let me put this forward.  From a religious perspective, the imperative to ‘be subject to the governing authorities’ stated in Romans 13:1 appears to be ignored in this situation. Not paying the fines levied (bad law or not) is not being subject to the governing authorities.  Not only this, but we are to live peaceably with our neighbors.  How peaceable were they being towards their neighbors when they brought the authorities into their neighborhood?  Or with the media attention they brought in with their cause celebre? Before you respond, I know the counterargument is from Acts chapter 5 where Peter tells the Jews they must obey God rather than men.  I haven’t found a passage in the Bible where it commands us to homeschool our children. 

I understand there are those who are concerned that this case shows the U.S. governments ‘anti-homeschooling’ bias and this is a harbinger of coming persecution against American homeschoolers.  As I stated above, the case involves granting asylum, not whether or not one of the questions on a future immigration form will be ‘do you intend to homeschool your children?’ Maybe I’m a Pollyanna, or I’m stupid, but I just don’t see persecution coming because of that particular choice. Maybe because my reason for homeschooling is about the quality of the education my children receive instead of being based on a moral imperative. Please let me reiterate:  I’m thankful for the opportunity and the ability to homeschool, and do not want that taken away.  On the other hand, I’m not going to be a ‘chicken little’ responding with fright just because the government mentions the word ‘education’.  If I did, I will miss situations that are or will be a matter of concern.  But hey, what do I know?

It’s not personal, it’s just politics

 

     It has been over two months since I last put something on this blog.  I wish that I could blame my life and my schedule for my lack of posts, but I can’t.  These two months really been a struggle for me to determine when I should write and what I should write about.  On the one hand, I could go on a somewhat theological tangent.  That would be interesting to me, but I’m not sure anyone else would enjoy it.  On the other hand, I could be like so many other people and rail on about the current state of affairs in this country.  But even with that topic, there are so many possibilities.  One thing that seems to hinder me is:  by the time I finally figure out how I feel and what my true position is about a particular topic or issue (not sure if it’s paralysis by analysis, or truly trying to wade through the nuances), it’s well after the swell of emotion and discussion of that issue, and anything I put together comes off as ‘Johnny come lately’.  But, now I feel called to comment on our current mess dealing  with the economy.  So:  late, early, or on time, here goes nothing (or something, we’ll see when I’m done).  I will be up front and state that I do have a personal stake in this situation, and I am trying to keep the personal out of this post as much as possible.  It is ultimately very difficult, so if I fail at being impartial, you at least know why.

    As I write this, America seems to be on a road similar to what I mentioned with Hostess.  Both sides (and please look it up.  One side may have proposed this madness, but both sides latched on and agreed to it) signed a sort of ‘mutual suicide pact’ for the American economy.  The ‘sequester’ as it has come to be known, was supposed to be something both sides wanted to avoid at all costs.  What we have seen is that this was the case, until both parties saw the opportunity to gain a political advantage.  Now, both side are alternately trying to tell themselves this isn’t as bad as they said, or it is that bad and they’re blaming the other party for the mess.  In the meantime, the rest of the country gets to find out in an ‘up close and personal’ fashion what these arbitrary cuts will mean to both personal and federal/state/local economies (unintended consequences, anyone?) 

     I looked through all this and I have come to the following (somewhat disturbing) conclusion.  This marks (to me and I may be wrong) the first time the politicians and/or government have OVERTLY done something, either through omission or commission, not in the best interest of the country.  It’s finally gotten to the point where scoring political points with their supporters is more important than the good of the country, and they don’t care whether people know it or not.

     I believe this is something we as a country and a society need to ponder.  Now, I will say this is not a ‘throw the bums out’ type of general grumpy comment.  This is more of a ‘wow, have we really gotten/sunk to this point?’ kind of concerned response.  We as a country need to take a serious look at where things are going politically and thoughtfully consider whether or not we like it.  If we don’t, then we need to use the legitimate tools at our disposal to make it known we don’t like where things are and are going.  We also need to start trying to change who we have in government.  Let me state clearly right now, I don’t advocate overthrow or revolution.  I don’t think it’s necessary.

     There, I’ve said my piece.  Now, I’m going to stand back and see what the future holds.