What a long, strange trip it’s been (part two)

Since I've got the first part out and let others see that, I'll now put out the conclusion for what has really turned into something of a novella.

Here is the second part of my long and strange spiritual journey. I left off where we had moved to a reformed view of Christianity, and for about 10 years, that was where we were. Some of the aspects of that reformed view changed within that time due to reasons of what particular people taught or what I would read, but overall the main points of faith and belief were there.

Apparently God recently decided I had stayed in that theological perspective long enough and I was ready to start moving down a different theological road in my life, because a little over a year ago, I was moved and challenged again. This time, the call and direction I received is towards something that many might look at and call far more ‘ritualistic’ than any of the previous churches I’ve been in, but in my opinion, it is something that as a whole is so much more beautiful and holy. No, I didn’t join the Roman Catholic Church. I went and joined the Orthodox Church. I think most people have heard it identified as Eastern Orthodox Christianity.

Why would I do this? The whole challenge began with a simple, yet profound question: where does a particular church’s authority come from? Most Protestant churches would claim the Bible as their sole authority for their teaching. However, the Bible can’t be the end all and be all of faith from the time of the Apostles to today, because what we now know and understand as the canon of scripture wasn’t identified and brought together until the late 300’s AD (or CE if you prefer). So, how did the church deliver these teachings to all the different believers in the times prior to the Bible being canonized? Or more importantly, how did all the churches in Palestine, Egypt, and modern day Turkey keep the teachings and faith from the Apostles forward? I did a lot of reading on Church History over those two years, and looking at the lives of those who lived during those times. What came out on the other end of these studies was that the faith and the church were held together through the oral and written teachings of those that were generally known as the church fathers, and were furthered by what was put forth in the councils of the church. In the Orthodox Church, their teachings are based on what was passed down from the apostles to the churches, and the councils reinforcing those teachings. This (again to me) is the church that has survived intact from the beginning until the present day. It has survived persecution at almost every turn, whether from internal or external forces. Also, if you think about it, we all rely upon or give ourselves over to some other authority than the Bible at some point. It doesn’t matter whether it’s Luther, Calvin, the Popes, or someone other modern (John MacArthur comes to mind, although one could put in almost anyone who is teaching), we look to their perspective and interpretation as a guide for our own understanding.

Once I got to that point, I started to look at what Orthodoxy teaches. As I’ve studied those positions, many of the verses and stories in the Bible have taken on new meanings, and some well known ones have made more sense. This has led to a change in how I’ve viewed many of the different doctrines and issues within the church. Seeing salvation, grace, mercy, even sin through the eastern perspective rather than what is categorized for lack of a better term as western has given me more peace than I have had in a long time.

The worship has taken a bit of an adjustment, as other elements have been introduced that I haven’t experienced before (Mary as the ever-virgin Theotokos, icons, and incense to name a few), but when you hear and read the Orthodox explanation for these and other things, you begin to realize that many things aren’t done simply for the sake of ‘tradition’ (although there are some smaller items that do fall into that category), but have a root in history and theology that make them all the more wonderful.

I will not say at this point that I’ve completed this journey. I have come to understand that my journey won’t be complete until I die. But what I can say at this point is for the first time, I have a sense of anticipation in thinking about where this journey is taking me. In the past, more often than not there was confusion (particularly in the charismatic phase), dread, or a feeling of, ‘now what?’ It will be interesting to see where the future takes me.

What a long, strange trip it’s been (part one)

This is a blog post (two actually) that I've been working on for quite some time. At this point, I've gotten it to about as good as I'm going to get it before I start having diminishing returns in editing. Anyway, without further ado....


I’ll apologize up front for the Grateful Dead reference, but the phrase really fits for me personally. What trip am I talking about? I am referring to my spiritual journey. It seems like I’ve gone (looking at things from a liturgical perspective) from a very structured denomination to what looks like a very unstructured denomination, and now I feel like I’m going back in the structured direction (and going into even more structure than I was before). In this post, I will lay out where I’ve been up to recently, the next post will be where I’m at now and where I see myself going from this point.

For my starting point, I was raised in the Lutheran Church. What I mean by this is my family was (is) Lutheran, and as I grew up, I went through baptism, communion, and confirmation there. Looking back, I can’t say during my growing up that I can really remember my having any issues with the teachings and theology of the Lutheran church. However, I do know that I always felt that I was different than all the kids my age (or my general age range) who were going through communion and confirmation. Looking back, I think it had to do with the fact that I knew how many of those other kids acted when they weren’t at church (and sometimes when they were), and to them it seemed to just be a formality, something that was expected of them. There was no thought or feeling behind it. To me, however, it was something that I thought about and did have feelings behind what I was doing. One of the funnier things we did was to visit other ‘major’ denominations holding services in the city I lived in (you would think that was a way to lose your younger members, instead of confirming their beliefs and staying in the church). We visited Catholic, Orthodox, Jewish, and Baptist churches among others. For me, I had a difficult time understanding why these other people went to all these other places to worship, and why those people believed (or seemed to believe) different things. I chalked most of it to ‘that’s just where they’re at’. Some of the more radical denominations I just figured were people who really wanted to believe something different. Little did I know that this was just the beginning a very wild and varying journey of faith and faith practice.

Several years later, as I began the relationship with the woman who is now my wife (has it really been almost 18 years since we met?) our discussions were often about Christianity. Her views on Christianity and the Church (whether Lutheran or otherwise) began to question and test what my beliefs were. Were those beliefs really different than mine? No. But how they were being ‘played out’ in the church I was in was beginning to become more of a concern and challenge. We did get married in the Lutheran church, but other than that, we really didn’t go afterwards. We did go one final time at Easter. The sermon delivered that morning left us both feeling we could not return. One of the ‘high points’ was the statement that Christ really didn’t have to die on the cross. Sorry, but when one of the main points of the Christian faith is put in an ‘overkill’ or ‘not necessary’ category, to me you’re just asking for trouble.

After we agreed not to go back to the Lutheran Church, we started to go to (I believe) an Assemblies of God church. The issue of joining that church became moot as I went active duty military and we moved away from Minnesota. We continued to look for churches of that type for the next year, but we ended up ‘falling’ into the on post church life once I got stationed in Germany. We kept studying and trying to understand things from the perspective we had been taught, but we had kind of ‘stalled’, as generic ‘protestant’ services tend to be bland and diluted. After the birth of our twins, and subsequent move back to the states, we then became involved in a full ‘Pentecostal’ church, complete with speaking in tongues, slaying in the spirit, and so forth. After a few months of our attending that church, which included a week of ‘revival’ meetings, we began to wonder about the truth of the whole movement. After some study, prayer, and consideration, we ended up leaving the movement entirely. It was a very difficult time, as we ended up losing almost everyone we had as friends at that time.

We then moved into a more ‘moderate’ or sedate version of Christianity, with the ‘reformed’ or for those who would better understand it as ‘calvinistic’ faith. Our perspective of salvation and other major aspects of theology fell into a ‘calvinistic’ view and generally going against the ideas of a more ‘arminian’ perspective. This is where we were at for about 10 years. These years were spent listening, reading, and studying the ‘doctrines of grace’ and other aspects of reformed theology. It was interesting and fulfilling, especially in terms of intellectual exercise. There were many times however, when I would wonder if I was ‘missing something’. My head was there, but there were times that my heart wasn’t. There were also times when the intellectual part (reading and studying) were difficult and confusing. It would be when someone would tell you not to listen to or follow the teachings of a certain person, because of a recent statement or writing they made. You would then be left wondering if everything they said and wrote was ‘wrong’. I’d be left wondering sometimes how much of my beliefs would need to be changed to remove the error that particular person had put in to my belief system.

I’m going to end this post here, and (hopefully) the next post will go through this most recent move on my journey, and at least part of the basis for it. ---

I decided to shake things up

And change the background, etc. of my blog. Something that fits a little better the overall concept of the blog. In any case, enjoy!

How do I deal with stress (Monday Men's Meme post)

In this post, I'm going to try and give my own answer to the 'Monday Mens Meme' question on the families again blog. The question asked this week is: How you do deal with stress? It further asks if there's a really good way, a biblical or medical way to deal with stress. I'm going to try and deal with each one of those separately. I must preface this with the statement that I am defining stress as those situations that cause significant amounts of stress. There are lots of little stresses in life, and if I recall correctly, we need those things to be there for us to be healthy. So I'm not including those.

Personally, there are two primary methods I deal with stress. It depends on the situation. The first is what I would use for non-emergency types of stress. I tend to focus inward and try to work my way through the situation (essentially 'internalize' what's going on). I know, it's not good for me, but I just haven't been good at anything else, and it has helped me get through some situations. For those emergency situations, I just generally tend to flip out/freak out and pace or speak harshly to anyone who dares to enter my overly extended version of my 'personal space'. Again, I know it's not good but that's what I've developed to cope with those particular situations.

I wish I could point to a really good way to deal with stress, but I must confess that thinking about it offhand I can't. There are the biblical and medical methods mentioned below, but I think you have to be willing to commit to those and do them. If not, they can add to the stress instead of relieving it.

I have sat here and tried to think about what would be a biblical way to deal with stress. Many people I'm sure would say that the biblical method would be to 'lay your burdens down before Christ'. This may be good advice, but it is something that is very difficult to use in practice, as I wouldn't believe that I was laying the burdens before Christ, and I would feel that they weren't going away. Also, I think I would be tempted to say I'm laying the burdens before Christ, but really just using it as an excuse to not deal with the stressful situation.

Medically speaking (not that I'm a doctor, nor do I play one on TV), if I recall, there are relaxation techniques available to help people deal with stress in their lives. Also, for those situations where the stress is particularly great, use of a counselor may be a good method for dealing with stress. Again, you have to be willing to commit and believe in those things for them to work.

Well, those are just my off the cuff and unresearched thoughts on the topic. Feel free to let me know what you think.

Does anyone know what normal is anymore?

Sometimes I wonder if I've moved into a world where the normal rules don't apply. I could say more about that, but I won't. I'll just relay some thoughts about the BP Oil spill.

I was listening to a conversation the other day revolving around the BP oil disaster, how long it's been going on (it's really been almost two months since it first occurred?) but there were two main points that stood out to me:

1) You haven't really heard anything from the environmentalists about this. Not that long ago, if there was a hint of an oil spill anywhere, environmental activists would have been out in force demanding the oil companies pay. I don't know about you, but I haven't heard much of anything. Oh there was some noise and whimpering and whining at first, but it's pretty much died out. Maybe they're just waiting for the final damage assessment before they 'lower the boom', but that's just the cynical skeptic in me.

2) These people were actually talking about physical harm being done to executives, on the order of 'showing on TV these executives being punched in the face, etc.' To me, it spoke back to the days of the Roman Forum and the gladiators. I guess we really are not that far removed from those days of 'unsophisticated' violence. How much of a push would we as a society need to want to see killing and death (real killing I mean) on television?

One other thing I've noticed about this disaster: has anyone noticed you don't hear stories about oil and gas prices rising to outrageous levels? We saw it with Katrina, and while this may not have the same potential, I would have thought the cost would have gone up at least a little. Petroleum being a scarce commodity and a significant amount being lost. I will admit I've been distracted and not scouring the news to search or research, but with some things you don't have to search very hard.

I guess I am saying 'a pox on both their houses'

I know, I've been fairly silent on blogging on issues for a while. It's been difficult to try and balance all the necessary things that life seems to require, and find time to do things that I like, but aren't 'necessary'. That said, quite a bit has happened in the world since I last posted. Health care reform passed (whether we wanted it or not), the world continues to prove it's not a safe place, and those who are supposed to be doing 'the people's work' aren't. Yeah, I guess at this point I throw up my hands, say nasty words at both the major political parties (to include phrases like the title) and say in essence 'I don't trust a single thing you say.'

It's really difficult to try and stay calm and involved in the process, when there's daily evidence that this country has created a professional class of politicians whose sole purpose in life is to work at some level of government (by election or political appointment). It's rather irritating when those who are supposed to ensure the best interests of the country are served have absolutely no clue of the effects of their votes/decisions. Then they act surprised when something bad happens (and most sane people saw it coming well before the vote was taken).

And looking at political parties, all their interested in is their own well being or maintaining/gaining power. Not what will help the nation/state/city, or the people living there. And as far as rhetoric goes, it's devolved to the point of schoolyard fights/name calling, and that passes for intelligent discourse these days. Those who are running the parties seem to think it's better to teach everyone to hate/distrust those who don't believe in the same things they do, instead of how to articulate your perspective in hopes of persuading others to agree/join the cause.

At this point, my perspective on the future is rather grim. We seem to be at the point of splitting the country apart, but over what? It's not as if there's truly one defining issue that's polarizing people, just differences of opinion. So if both sides start truly fighting each other, do we have any idea as to what the result will be if either side wins? In the past, when there were issues to be discussed, people more or less understood what would happen if the other side won. Now? Doesn't matter who wins, we're going down the same road.

I guess the reason I chose the title is: from this point on, I am not going to believe what either political party says, and take care of myself. I would rather both political parties 'implode' and people start doing things on the basis of what's best rather than what will bring the most power to themselves. I know, this kind of sounds like a 'goodbye cruel world' type of post. But really, when you look around and see what's happening, the best thing may be to tell the professional politicians off and look to yourself and your family to take care of what needs to be taken care of.

Well, now I get to be really irritated

There are multiple reasons I guess to be irritated. Could be because of the highly visible breakdown of the political process to the point where it doesn't matter what the topic is, the bottom line is it isn't going to help the rest of us. But I guess I'm a selfish individual since what I'm really irritated about is because some knucklehead decided my van was something that he wanted to break into and steal. Fortunately the person didn't succeed, but he damaged the passenger door and the ignition to the point that repairs are necessary. I'd like to whack the person who did this upside the head just to let them know how much I don't appreciate my property being violated. But in the end vehicles, property, and everything else are just temporary things on this earth that will disappear sooner or later. Just one more thing I didn't need to happen. Can I just curl up in a ball now?

Something for Facebook

If anyone follows me on Facebook, you notice that my profile picture is from a long time ago. It also is from a time that was very difficult to get through. This week is recognized as CHD (congenital heart defect) awareness week. Please read through the notice that is there if you are not aware of the effects of CHD not just on the children born with them, but also the families involved.

A new year

Well, not only have we moved into a new year, but apparently a new decade as well. Looking back at the past decade, there have been a lot of changes for me and my family.

Where and who I worked for changed a number of times. My standing on a number of issues (to include some in religion) has changed, most dramatically in this past year. Friends have come and gone, some have gone either by moving or choosing not to be friends anymore, and at least one is gone from this world. Those who have come in have been welcome additions to this journey of life we're on.

Looking back like this can sometimes be depressing, it always puts me in a somber mood. But truly it is a beneficial exercise. If we do not look back at where we've been, then we're not really going to know or understand where we are going. It's best not to go in circles, and the only time we're not moving (either forward or backward) is when we're dead.

Take a look back at the last decade and look at where you've come from. It really doesn't matter whether you've gone a long way or not.

It's a roundabout way to say, 'happy new year and hope you have a joyous and prosperous 2010!'